Goddess, Fat Lady or Gingerbread Man:
The Quest for a (recognizable)
Positive Body Image
T
he subject for this week is the object to my left. When I wanted to start my Abundant Goddess/Body Positive Coaching business I knew exactly what goddess I wanted to use for my logo—the Goddess of Wilendorf.
I have taught about this abundant goddess in my women’s literature class. I have at least three different statues depicting her in my home, and I am generally fascinated by all of the things people can create in her image— earrings, paperweights, lawn ornaments… She is an eye catching figure—thick, ample in girth, gorgeous, and easily recognizable—or so I thought.
The seemingly easy choice of selecting this goddess for my logo proved to be more difficult than I thought!
Squeezing In—Once Again.
My first task was fitting her onto my 2 ½ x 3 ½ business card. She kept over sizing the card—at some point either her head, her breast or at least one ample thigh was always hanging off a side or one of the four corners. It took a lot compromising for the computer to allow me to keep her—resizing, shrinking, rotating…I was getting tired—and a little dizzy.
Indeed this type of compromise is what the typical big girl in this society has to do on a daily basis to get noticed, accepted and– in rare cases appreciated. Resizing, shrinking and, at times, rotating her sense of herself, by losing weight, committing to lose weight or apologizing for not “losing weight” are prerequisites for a big girl’s tenuous presence in this society –a daunting and often exhausting task!
That’s a Big girl!
Speaking of tasks, the next task for me and my goddess was to get her draft “approved” by the general public—starting with my family and friends. I first placed her in the center of my draft card. I wanted her to be front and center, no apologies, no tucking into the background (often eclipsed by her skinny friend). I wanted her to have impact—be the main attraction!
When presenting my proud masterpiece (in draft form) to my mother and sister, a loud belly laugh exploded from my 30 year old sister. As she through her head back in hefty belly giggles, she yelled—
“Damn–That is a BIG GIRL”—she screamed in laughter and fell on the floor. (My mother and sister are always supportive of what I do).
My mother was a little more diplomatic—seeing the immediate look of hurt in my eyes that said “You sank my goddess glee.” My mother said, “Well, it just takes up a LOT of room. She’s kind of overwhelming—
“ 
She taking up the entire card!” my sister interrupted, still on the floor trying to harness another bout of laughter.
“–You look at her more than you look at the text,” my mother continued to explain.
I took the opportunity to embrace my decision—”Yeah—that was my point! I want people to see her. I want her to attract attention, make people form an impression—be in awe of her bodacious form, I explained.” They both smiled, not sure of my decision, but willing to be supportive—as they always are. (My sister had since caught her breath).
My loving family’s reaction was just a peek at the resistance, avoidance and outright irritation people would have to my goddess logo. One woman during a life coaching networking session refused to look at my card (she literally seemed repulsed when I presented it to her), and then immediately began talking about how she focused on healthy lifestyle as a coach. Perhaps, if I were thin, using this Goddess’ ample form for the main attraction on my card would have been seen as female empowerment, culturally deep and self-expressive.
However– a Fat Lady with another Fat Lady front and center on her business card! Not okay. That was promoting fat acceptance and that is unacceptable. Plus, we all know, large women shouldn’t hang out together—it might cause a scene, whispers and lots of jokes—unless, of course, they are on their way to a Weight Watchers meeting (not hating on Weight Watchers).
Fat women have been OVERWHELMING people for a long time—not at all by choice. We actually have just been trying to co-exist, but the message we get is that we are taking up way too much room– “You make us notice you, and we don’t like what we see. Can you at least trim it down a little, so we are not so uncomfortable?” But, I wasn’t going to give her up. I wanted her to see the light of day, conveniently packaged on a commercial business card for all to see.
What is IT?
The next reality check on my goddess logo quest occurred when I was ready to make the leap from draft to printing my girl up on business cards. Of course, at the last minute, I look at the proof for my logo and there was a huge X in the place her abundant body should have been. I was in a panic. Someone has censored my body—just plucked her right from her rightful place, front and center in my life, and on my business card.
I frantically called the costumer service line.
“I lost my body image!”
The rep. on the other end of the line calmly and quickly indicated he could help me locate her so I could reprint the cards and correct the mistake. But he didn’t know what she looked like, so we had to find her together.
“What does she look like?, he asked me calmly.
I didn’t know what to say…”Um she’s just my logo image. I don’t know how to describe her. I only have one.”
He scanned through my images from his side of the cyber-world screen. Finally, I heard recognition in his voice and my anxiety decompressed.
“I think I may have found it. Is it a Gingerbread Man?”
I could not believe my ears, so I eloquently asked him to clarify, “Huh?”
“Is it a big gingerbread man?”, he repeated.
A GINGERBREAD MAN? I said, (Hell no! I thought). “It’s a GODDESS!” (Damn it!, I added silently to myself).
“Oh, my mistake. I found it.”
Yes he had. He had found my abundant goddess who now had become not only a man, but an edible one. WTF!—I don’t usually use three letter words, but this is a special occasion. Why wasn’t anybody recognizing my image for the goddess that she is?
Re-claiming Your Goddess Takes Work…
A close friend of mine helped me get a little better clarity on the issue of my logo when I asked him his opinion on my business car sign magnets and decals. He took a long, slow look over my car body, studying the signs and my goddess.
My car was enveloped by her fleshy folds—rotund on the back window, curvy on the left side, fluffy on the right. She was all over the place.
“He gently said, “Anissa, I think the typical person is not going to understand the image you have selected for your logo.”
“What’s not to understand? She is large-sized woman whose image represents a goddess of the most amazing proportions,” I was already irritated by yet another rejection of her body (and mine symbolically).
“But I think you might have to do some educating about her. Most people are not going to understand her shape and her connection to your body image coaching business.”
As I contemplated his words, I realized (trying to avoid feeling hurt, angry and offended) that he was right. Large sized women, as well as men and women of all sizes, have been spoon-fed negativity about large bodies for a long time. It’s going to take a lot to re-educate and free ours minds of the idea that my goddess’ form is ugly, overwhelming and unacceptable.
So, I think I’m going to take this opportunity to do a little educating.
This figure below is the Goddess Venus of Wilendorf. 
A Goddess image from the Paleolithic Period, she is one of the oldest recognizable figures of the female form. Recognized for her prominent figure, Venus of Wilendorf has come to represent female acceptance and empowerment. She stands comfortably with her hands and arms draped over her voluminous breasts– she is not ashamed of her girth. In fact, her body language tells us she is comfortable and even playful in her voluptuous nudity.
She represents the ultimate goal for an abundant woman—
living proudly and lovingly in your own body!
Done. That wasn’t so bad. I just need to do that over 350 million more times to have the impact that the media, diet industry and our own self-hatred have had centuries to create.
And Now…Time to Eat.
I
n the meantime, maybe I’ll start the re-education campaign and glorify her shape by creating something beautiful and edible—maybe in the shape of a cookie. Nobody can resist a cookie, right?
Little Fat Black Girl 